Stepparent Child Custody

This is about an incident in the life of a FB friend, Crystal, in NC. Heartbreaking and applies to any non-blood kin caregiver.

This was posted on Wednesday, 11/9/11:

MY FRIENDS: I am asking for prayer for my family. Im sure most of you know I havent been on here much lately. Going through a very difficult time. Not only has my marriage hit an end apparently now I will be losing lil’ man come thanksgiving. He will be going to live with his great grandma (his dad works out of state and has for 3 yrs.). Unfortunately as a step parent I have no legal rights even though I have been his only caretaker for years now. He has came so far and advanced so much. This is so devastating and seems like a nightmare for me. I cant explain my sadness and all of it has and continues to be difficult. Its all in Gods hands as I know my lil man will be. But I and we need and would appreciate your prayers. Thaks and love you all♥

I could not believe the state was doing this to her and posted this:

That is a stupid law. I am sorry you are getting the short end of the stick about YOUR son. Get a lawyer.

I got this on the thread on her FB:

Nothing I can do Charlie….I hhave had one. Main priority of the courts and s.s. is to keep them with a biological parent and would have to have consent from his 5 year missing uterus donor. His dad has custody and she has visitation. But I (and I mean I) have had him for the past 4 and a half years. He was in a special class then….today e tied for first in his regular 7 th grade class. It sickens me how someone can think its ok just to jerk a child out of their home…..after so long when he is going to be 7 hours away anyway. I just hope if nothing gets changed he remembers what I taught him. Thank you everyone<

I asked if I could share this story and she consented. I find it incredible that HE wasn’t asked where he wanted to live. But every state sets their own criteria for child protection.

There was much outpouring of support for her on FaceBook.

I am unsure of the point for us in my posting this except as a cautionary tale. If she had adopted the boy, I am sure the outcome would have been different.